| It has been so long |
[Sep. 6th, 2005|07:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Minus the bear | ] |
It has been so long since I have sat down and decided to write in my livejournal. I don't know if I ever thought I would again. I thought I was done with it. I thought I was done with this. I guess that happens a lot-thinking we're done with something, then suddenly going back for more. Sometimes we crave it.
It has been so long since I have felt this. THIS. This. Felt my mouth curve upwards, felt my palms dry, felt my heart calm. And sometimes I'm afraid it won't last. Nothing lasts. But I want it to last. It's nice being happy.
It has been so long since someone has asked me if I am in love. And someone asked me today, because I looked happy. I just laughed at them, and told them it was the miracle of anti-depressants. Heh.
I bought new shoes yesterday. I have never been into shoes, but sometimes they are nice to have. It's nice to have variety; to be able to choose.
I am excited to go back to Savannah. |
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| It's been a while |
[Apr. 26th, 2004|07:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | okay | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Car- Built to Spill | ] |
I haven't written in this thing for a long while.
Well, it's official, I'm going back to California. I really miss home, plus I just think things will be better there...
I feel like I've come a long way since I first got to SCAD. I feel like I have matured physically and emotionally. I've been seeing a counselor since the middle of first quarter, and she has helped me soo much. she's great. She was telling me today how much I've improved, and how beautiful and healthy I am looking. Not only physically, but INTERNALLY as well. Yay me, I'm happy.
I'm making a dragonfly in my 3-d class. I hope it turns out rad.
I got a B in thhat class for mid-terms. It's not bad, but it kind of makes me sad. Cause I know I'm not that great at 3-d, she's just being ncie. Oh well. I guess it's not my strong part.
I bought True Romance the other day. Hopefuully I'm going to watch it tonight.
I feel very boring in my entry today.
Oh Carly Simon..(I used to listen to her so much as a kid.)
"We clung on like barnacles on a boat. Even if the ship sinks you know you can't let go.
And it's a bittersweet symphany |
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| Californication |
[Mar. 4th, 2004|06:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Matchbox 20-Leave | ] |
Man, for some reason I really miss California right now. I miss my dad. And my step mom. And Caroline. And the fact that my mom's not in California, cause I miss her too. And I miss Lisa. And Katie. And Kelly. And Ronny. And Vanessa. And Elliot. I just... gah. Oh well.
I don't want to do color theory homework. It's going to take me too long, and I just don't want to deal with it. Fuck, why do i always make things so difficult to paint. Jesus christ.
I'm a shit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 8th, 2004|05:17 pm] |
In the event of an emergency,
please sit tight.
Just let the hell raise you.
Enjoy the ride.
Feel it.
Be it.
Let it take over.
And then you die.
And you accept it.
And we're all free. |
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| oh sweet Jesus |
[Feb. 4th, 2004|11:16 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Southpark | ] |
Kyle: "Hey that went really well. They really liked it."
Cartman: "Yeah told you I'd be a sweet Jesus you guys, heh."
Kyle: "Aw man, at least the real Jesus didn't weigh 400lbs."
Cartman: "Up your ass with broken glass." |
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| Wahoo. |
[Feb. 3rd, 2004|06:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Tummy hurts | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | No music, but I'm watching crappy Melrose Place reruns. | ] |
Libra
Sept. 22 - Oct. 22
You're sharp, but you may also be irritated. You're never going to find the answer you're seeking by worrying about it. Ask an expert to help. Call 411. It's really a misnomer that they only handle telephone directory information. You can find out all sorts of things from these friendly people. If they don't have the answer right away, ask to speak to their supervisor.
--------------------------------------------
867-5309. What's with all the commercials using this song. Jenny is not home!
---------------------------------------------
http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/SCARY/holyfuckingshit.jpg
That guy's got a full load to wheel around.
--------------------------------------------
create your own visited states map |
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| Speechandwhatnot |
[Feb. 3rd, 2004|12:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | No music, just KISSING A FOOL: | ] |
I didn't give my informative speech today. I email my professor and told him I just couldn't do it. SO we're going to work something out. I still get to give my speech later, but I get docked a little. Oh well. At least I don't get docked for the whole thing.
MY MOVIVE CAME YESTERDAY!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! YESSSS.I'msohappy!! I've watched it 2 1/2 times already. Oh, my movie is Kissing a Fool, if you didn't read in previous entries.
I don't want to go toclass this week. Yucko. Bleh. Oh well. Got a critique in COlory theory tomorrow. Yay hole.
I need to read more.
And paint more.
I'm good on the writing- I've been doing that a lot(not just on here.)
I want some food.
This entry was lame, but oh well. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2004|03:24 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | nada | ] |
buildings and bridges
are made to bend in the wind
to withstand the world,
that's what it takes
all that steel and stone
is no match for the air, my friend
what doesn't bend breaks
what doesn't bend breaks
we are made to bleed
and scab and heal and bleed again
and turn every scar into a joke
we are made to fight
and fuck and talk and fight again
and sit around and laugh until we choke
sit around and laugh until we choke
I just spent hours doing my homework. And now I can't sleep. And it's 3:30 in the morning. I wish I knew if my color theory homework was due tomorrow or Wednesday.Because ifit's due Wed.Iwon't have to finish painting it in the morning.
I don't know what to do to make things the way they should be-to make things feel good and honest and pure. I don't know what to tell you so that I don't lie, and stay true to the way I feel. I don't know how to comfort you or make you feel better. ANd it'snot because I don't care (because I do) it's just, I'm tired of trying to play god. I'm not a fixer no matter how much I want to be. Nothing is static. Nothing is perfect. AndI'm sorry.
So I ended up buying the Super Troopers/Office Space duo.It makes me happy. Thanks Best Buy.
I miss my mom. And dad. And siblings. And friends back home.
but I'm happy with my new life. Even if I don't feel happy all the time.
And even if things aren't perfect. Or even comforting.
But it's me. And I'm working on her.
To make things better.
And more enjoyable for all.
But in the meantime.
We are all a work in progress. |
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| Salvia Divinorum |
[Feb. 1st, 2004|11:35 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  mellow | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bridges-Dispatch | ] |
Salvia divinorum is a species of sage (the genus Salvia). There are approximately 1000 species of Salvia worldwide, but Salvia divinorum is the only vision-inducing species known. Salvia is a member of a very large family of plants known as the Labiatae. Because mint is a well-known member of this family, it is sometimes referred to as the mint family. Salvia divinorum makes a beautiful house plant, and it can be grown just for that reason, but most people who grow this plant are interested in its fascinating psychoactive effects.
The botanical name Salvia divinorum means "Sage of the Diviners." Under the right conditions, taken in the right way, Salvia produces a unique state of "divine inebriation." For hundreds of years, it has been used in religious and healing ceremonies by the Mazatec Indians, who live in the province of Oaxaca, in Mexico.
Salvia divinorum is an extraordinary visionary herb. It is not a recreational drug. It produces a profoundly introspective state of awareness that is useful for meditation, contemplation, and self-reflection. Its effects are unique and cannot be compared with the effects of other drugs. The effects of Salvia do not appeal to many people (young or old). The people who are most drawn to it are both mature and philosophically minded.
* short duration (when smoked)
* radical perspective shifting
* increase in sensual and aesthetic appreciation
* creative dreamlike experience
* insight into personal issues
* powerful open and closed eye visuals
* general change in consciousness (as with most psychoactives)
* altered perceptions
* change in body temperature (?)
* sensation of physical push, pressure, or wind
* sensation of entering or perceiving other dimensions, alternate realities
* feeling of 'presence' or entity contact
* dissociation at high doses, walking or standing
* overly-intense experiences
* fear, terror and panic
* increased perspiration
* possible difficulty integrating experiences |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 30th, 2004|05:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Requiem For a dream- Summer Overture | ] |
I think I've decided to be a lesbian. Boys just aren't worth it.
Whipped cream is good.
I went to Best Buy today and they have the dvd set of Super Troopers and Office Space.Ireally wanted to buy it, but then I decided to wait.
I really want kissing a fool tocomein the mail NOW. damnit.
Requiem For a Dream has such a good score.
Bong Butt Babes makes White Girl in the Middle look like children cartoons.
My earring holes hurt. HOLE. |
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